Maybe it is time that I just accept that I am broken, that I can’t be fixed. I have tried for so long to put myself back together maybe it is time I just accepted ‘me’ the way I am and carried on with my broken and painful parts.
I have carried this pain for so long, blistered and sliced my fingers trying desperately to put the fractured parts of my soul back together maybe I should just give up. My coping mechanisms have gotten me this far, maybe I should carry on with them. Who says I need to be fixed?
I suppose I do, really. Dancing over the shatterings of glass left after a childhood of abuse has proved only painful, but that is the only footing I have. I cannot just walk away, unfortunately.
I suppose my hands can be fixed, but if I don’t use them to realign the pieces of my soul I will always be broken.
Food for thought.
Borderline Personality Disorder 
I think in away yes, it is very important to accept ourselves as we are. We might be different but that might mean we have something else to offer this world. With that said, I also believe it is everyone’s duty, no matter where they are in life, to continually and slowly work to better ourselves. This is not an overnight process but lifetime journey. I can tell by your posts that you are a brilliant person and remarkable writer. This is one thing to be proud o, to claim and to know that no matter what else is going on, all the things in your life have made you brilliant and remarkable.
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Thank you, journey toward, for both reading and commenting so thoughtfully on my post.
I agree with everything that you have said, I don’t know if you’ve ever done DBT but you’ve kind of outlined the core ideas of it – to accept were doing the best we can but that we can always improve. Thank you again, for your kind words. I like the way that you write, too.
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Thanks! I have not done DBT. What is it?
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Hmm.. Google will probably explain it better than I can. It stands for dialectical behavioural therapy, it’s a treatment aimed at people with borderline personality disorder and the fundaments of it are what we have just discussed. The core ‘dialect’ is acceptance and change, at polar ends of a scale of you can imagine that. Though I think there’s a bit more to it to that. The modules include I interpersonal effectiveness, so learning how to be around people basically, emotional regulation, so learning how to regulate your emotions, mindfulness.. So being in the here and now.. And something else I can’t remember right now lol. I’m like preaching around it now.. I think I’ve blogged about it previously.
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Ah, all sound like great things for people in general. I have heard a lot about mindfulness and completely believe in it but have never tried. I really want to some day.
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Distress tolerance is the last module!
Mindfulness is great and you can take what you like from it. Like for me, I apply it to exercise ad things. Thins that I would normally rush, like walking to the shops or walking a pet or riding the bus without taking any of it in, jus being lost in my own thoughts and missing out. Sometimes it’s not so bad to get lost in thoughts though.
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That hit so close to home, the pain and brokenness from abuse and the wanting to just give up. But giving up is not an option, not for you, not for me. Best wishes my friend, always best wishes.
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Thank you. I’m sorry this hits so close to home to you. I am feeling incredibly broken right now and your kind wishes mean so much thank you.
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